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10-31-2002, 03:05 PM
Dear Consumers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS XP MISSISSIPPI
EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of MISSISSIPPI. If you have
one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The Mississippi
edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads WINDERS XP with
a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate
flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazard screen saver.

Also note:
The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse."
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption."
Dial-Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys."
Control Panel is known as the "The Dashboard."
Hard Drive is referred to as "4 Wheel Drive."
Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs."
Instead of an error message a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up.

OK: ats aw-right
Cancel: piss on it
Reset: try er agin
Yes: yep
No: noop
Find: hunt fer it
Go to: over yonder
Back: back yonder
Help: hep me out here
Stop: kwitit Start: crank er up
Settings: sittins
Programs: stuff at duz stuff
Documents: stuff I done did

Also note that Mississippi does not recognize capital letters or punctuation
marks. Some programs that are exclusive to Winders XP:
tiperiter: a word processing program
colerin book: a graphics program
cyferin mersheen: calculator
outhouse paper: notepad
jupe-box: CD Player
iner-net: Microsoft Explorer 4.0
pichers: A graphics viewer
irs: MS accounting software
irs2: MS accounting software with hidden files
tax records: usually an empty file

You'll recognize WINDERS XP MISSISSIPPI as it comes pre-loaded with certain
"Favorites" for browsing the Worldwide Web:
Fishin': Bass Anglers Sportsman Society
NRA: National Rifle Association
Shotgun: Remington Arms home page
Riffel: Winchester home page
Pisstul: Smith & Wesson home page
Truck: Ford & Chevy dealers in MISSISSIPPI by zip code
House: Mobile home repair services and movers by zip code
Cuzzins: Complete database of MISSISSIPPI residents (extremely long download
Bud: List of Budweiser distributors by zip code
Rasin: NASCAR racing schedule with TV stations that carry the race
Doc: veterinarians by zip code
coon dog: American kennel club records

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the
MISSISSIPPI EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

I hope this helps all y'all.

Billy Bob Gates <br>MCS/WT/PP/Space Cloth/Rogue Stripes/Black Mesh Grilles/Rear MINI Badge
<img src="">

10-31-2002, 03:31 PM

10-31-2002, 05:28 PM
Good one Sam! Cracked me up! I work in the tech biz too.

11-01-2002, 01:04 AM

'02 MC: all-Pure Silver with Chrome/Spoiler/Panther Black Profile Leather/OBC/MFSW/15" Holeys.

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