I am glad that new style of foreign policy is finally paying off!

[haywood]

Days after attacking the U.S. Embassies in Cairo and Benghazi and killing an American ambassador and other personnel, Islamic protesters apologized to US officials and presented a peace offering to President Obama, which he graciously accepted in the spirit of friendship and renewed cooperation.

The gift, an exquisitely carved statue of a wooden horse in a style that was pioneered in the Mediterranean countries, is shown below:



While Administration and State Department officials praised this token of friendship, they at the same time condemned Mitt Romney for his attempts to foment an international crisis out of a peace rally that "got a little out of hand."

Speaking off the record, a DOJ official accused Romney of instigating the entire episode for political purposes. "Our investigation is going to reveal that Romney used money from Bain Capital to illegally fund the anti-Muslim film, which got the peaceful folks all upset. The Department of Justice will have no problem proving it."

Former MF Global CEO Jon Corzine agreed that Romney, a former executive officer of Bain Capital, should be in jail for ignoring his fiduciary duty and risking customer money for selfish purposes. "Such a terrible abuse of trust should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law," said Corzine.

Still many preferred to focus on the positive. Speaking from a bunker deep under the [censored] mountains, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton sounded optimistic: "I told you so! Smart power does work! We knew these people meant no harm - and we were right!"

Soon-to-be-reelected President Barack Obama, who worked all day at his crisis management center on George Clooney's poolside patio, addressed the media to deliver an important message about Mitt Romney's many gaffes during the past few days, particularly the statement that Egypt was no longer an American ally. "I would never act so stupidly," he said.

Mr. Obama went on to reaffirm his belief that Islam is "the religion of peace," asserting that the only ones not swayed by Islam's friendly disposition are "jingoistic hatemongers, bigots, and Republicans," who are "the real enemy."

The president informed reporters that, as his way of saying "no hard feelings" and to indicate that the apology was accepted, he will honor the wishes of the protesters by installing the peace statue either at Fort Knox or a top-secret nuclear weapons plant. Mr. Obama has requested that sniffing guard dogs be kept away from the statue as dogs are considered dirty and offensive in Islam.