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11-07-2003 01:03 PM #1
11-07-2003 07:28 PM #2
As requested mon dieu
Two French soldiers were leading a camel through the deserts of Algeria, slowly succumbing to the heat and thirst.
Suddenly they came upon an oasis, and they drank and drank until they were refreshed. Alain noticed that the camel was not drinking, and he could not persuade the animal to drink.
"I have an idea, Pierre," Alain said. "You hold the camel's head under the water, I'll suck on its arsehole, and we'll draw the water up into its mouth."
Pierre jumped on the camel's head, and Alain started sucking like mad on its arsehole. After a few minutes, Alain yelled out.
"Raise its head a bit, Pierre. All I'm getting is the mud from the bottom."
Ettore the rich Frenchman decided to go to the Vatican to meet the Pope, and was ecstatic when the Pontiff walked amongst the crowd. Ettore was amazed and touched to see His Holiness walk up to a shabby smelly tramp, put his hands on his shoulders and whisper in his ear. The tramp nodded the Pope smiled at him moved on.
Much to the Frenchman's amazement, the next day, exactly the same thing happened. The Pope moved through the crowd, walked up to the tramp put his hands on his shoulders and whispered in his ear. The tramp nodded, the Pontiff smiled and moved on.
Ettore grabbed the tramp and took him to an exclusive Italian restaurant where he spent an enormous amount of money wining and dining the tramp. On their coffees, Ettore spoke.
"This suit my friend, is a Yves Saint Laurent. This shirt is pure silk, this tie is Indian cashmere and it is all yours plus fifty thousand francs if we can exchange clothes tomorrow."
The tramp agreed, they swapped clothes the next day, and Ettore stood in the crowds unshaven, unwashed, waiting for the Pontiff. The Pontiff alighted from his Popemobile, and much to Ettore's shock started heading towards him.
The Pontiff placed his hands on Ettore's shoulders and leaned towards his ear.
"I've told you twice not to come here. Now f*ck off."
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