EuroEnglish

The European Union commissioners have announced that
agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for > European communications,
rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the
negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be
known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'.
Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.
Also, the hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k.' Not only will
this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like
'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan
be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the
languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
'th' by 'z' and 'W' by 'V'. >

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords
kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to
ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it
ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.