SUBJECT: BORED IN WAL-MART - 15 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART WHILE YOUR
SPOUSE
IS TAKING HIS/HER SWEET TIME:


1. Pick up condom packages & randomly put them in peoples carts when
they aren't looking.


2. Set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off at 5 minute
intervals


3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.


4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
'Codethree in house wares,'...and see what happens.


5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.


6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.


7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers
you'llonly invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding
department.


8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why
can't you people just leave me alone?


9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while
youpick your nose.


10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if
heknows where the antidepressants are.


11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme
from 'Mission Impossible'.


12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different
size funnels.


13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say 'PICK
ME! PICK ME!!!!!!


14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal
position and scream 'NO! NO! Not those voices again'.


And last but not least,


15. Go into a fitting room and yell real LOUD 'We're out of toilet
paperin here!