Learn what you are posting about before you presume to lecture others. The part that breaks on most of the X5 window regulators is not the 99 cent clip that connects the bottom of the window to the regulator. It is the plastic molded part where the cable attaches to pull the window up. When the window is lifted and reaches the top, the cable breaks out of the plastic. At this point the window will usually stay up even though the regulaor is now broken because it is jammed in the window seal. Next time you take the window down it will not go back up. This is why some people park the car and come back the next day to find the window all the way down inside the door. There is a DIY fix if the cables haven't bird-nested inside the door, but all of the regulators I have had fail needed to be replaced.
My X5 is a 2001 and I had 3 regulators replaced under warranty, and I have replaced 4 more myself. It is not as easy as you make it sound. I usually break one or more of the clipa holding the door panel on when I remove it and have to epoxy them back on. It takes about two hours if it goes well and I already have the parts.

Here are my points.

Slamming the door has nothing to do with most of the window failures on BMW's. Maybe your ignorant friends slam your car doors, mine don't. But even if they did, it wouldn't cause the failures I described.

It is perfectly normal for luxury car owners to expect their manufacturer to make a quality product, and if they do not they need to find a suitable long term repair or extend the warranty themselves. You may call it whining, but BMW America reads every one of these posts. We may not actually get a class action, but the threat of one may force them to be better business people.

Working on cars doesn't make you a man. A lot of people simply don't have time to mess with it. My 70 year old mother drives a BMW. I don't expect her to start pulling the door panels off her car so she can be a man and meet your BMW ownership standard. If she had a chronic problem with it, I would expect her to complain, just like most of the people on this forum.

And last but not least, you are arrogant. I hope every problem ever posted about any car on this forum happens to you, and whatever you drive stays broken and you wind up riding a bicycle with a warped rim.